Kite Flying

I once read or heard someone say that parenting is a lot like flying a kite. Little by little you let out the string and little by little the kite soars higher and higher. I thought that a good analogy and have not forgotten it since.

I have watched many parents (myself included) slowly let out a little of that line and anxiously wait to see how their child will handle the higher altitude. It isn't always easy to watch them dive and flip but the joy of seeing him or her right themselves is wonderful to say the least.

I have also seen parents of older children refuse to let the line loose; as though holding on to a kite that is fighting to be free is better than trusting you did the best you could and now is their time to soar. Of course I am not there yet and can only hope and pray that when that day arrives I will let loose of the line and smile knowing my job of raising them is complete but I am still here to advise, pray and hold them if need be.

My first big letting go of some line happened this week. My son is attending his first ever camp. It is a day camp (3 days) and teaches them the basics of horse riding, etc. To top it all off he is spending the nights with his grandparents so for me it is as though he were at an all-nighter camp. He is away from me for 3 long nights and 3 long days. I can honestly say I am doing fine and that he is as well. I am very proud of my little guy. This kind of thing is way out of his comfort zone...being away from home, not horses.

Parenting is a lot like flying a kite; though there are times when I wish it were more like fishing! You hold on to string for dear life. You wait for some wind (knowledge, growth) and you slowly let it go higher and wait some more. And then next thing you know your child will be so ready to fly away that you will feel a tug on the line and realize that you have reached the end. May it be that when we reach the end of the line, we can let it go knowing full well that we trained "a child in the way he should go" so that "when he is old he will not turn from it." (Proverbs 22:6)

Heart of the Matter

For several months I have felt depleted as a parent. I am not refering to the constant errands, the day-to-day tasks of fixing 3 square meals a day, washing the seemingly bottomless pit of laundry or anything else "trival." I am worn down, exhausted, at my wits end with the battles of raising children, especially in today's society. I have seen a shift in my attitude and it is not good. The once calm mom that thought she could handle anything or at least give it her best shot has been replaced with a frazzled mom that wants to run and hide when their attitudes are far from godly. I find myself unwittingly comparing my kids with everyone else's kids. I find myself berating myself for not being "that mom," whoever she may be.

So today is no different when I wake up to one of my girls and her poor attitude and behavior. It has ranged from pushing her brother to calling her sister names to crying because she was not allowed to go with a friend to the movies because we already had plans. Now I should preface all this with she at times goes through these periods of ill behavior and it can usually be associated with lack of sleep. She has never been a restful sleeper but there are times when her restlessness seems to increase. She has had dark circles under her eyes for a couple of days so I can only assume we are in that period right now. But this is no excuse and there doesn't seem to be a way into her heart. (I know there is a way to her heart--Jesus.) And I worry about her heart (because of her lack of 'Light' at times). It can turn so cold to those who love her the most. I am in deep prayer over this one. Because when she is warm to those around her, when she lets her love flow, when she does things that I believe are God given talents, she radiates. So I know it is in her. I just need God's guidance, lots of patience and plenty of love. But how to do that when I can't seem to look through the fog of frustration?!

I have begun rereading a book that I loved a couple of years ago. It is called Seasons of a Mother's Heart by Sally Clarkson. It is book of encouragement for homeschooling moms and I must say it has been a blessing just rereading the first chapter. The book is divided into 4 sections...one for each season. The first season is Spring-Season of Renewal! Sounds like where I am.

Here are a couple of my favorite quotes from the first chapter:

"I would choose joy." No matter the situation, I must choose joy!
"When I pout instead of be joyful, grumble instead of pray, and complain instead of give thanks, I am in effect telling God that he is mishandling my life and I don't like it. At that point, I have ceased to put my faith in my sovereign Lord..." So whatever is hard (difficult children) or frustrating (the attachment fell off the vaccum again), I must give thanks despite it all and talk to God.

"Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus" 1 Thes. 5:16-18

Summer Heats Up

I don't know about you but my summer is once again a busy time of year. I have found myself this week alone working on organizing our garage, planning a 5th year birthday celebration for our 3rd child and trying to lay out plans for next year's homeschooling. I am worn out just talking about it!

Organizing the garage has been a long time in coming. I must say I am overwhelmed with the process but also know that with each step taken, I am one step closer to my goal...a place for everything and no more "now where is that?" Ahhhh. The mere thought is exciting.

Party plans are in full swing. Our girl turns 5 on Saturday. We have made it tradition in our house to have big parties on the 5th. I wish all of the parties could be as grand as our first borns' day but with the addition of each child, the budget has strunk! This party is taking full advantage of the summer season. We have purchased several outdoor games for the kids and the all important (and in this heat needed) slip and slide. We are grilling out and for a little creativity, the kids are going to decorate their own cupcakes.

School plans always fill me with dread (the mundane task of making the plans, deciding the curriculums, etc) but also fills me with excitement. The high hopes of what I want to see done in the year, the fun we will have on that journey and all of the books!! My children find that weird too! :) I have also decided to teach in this year's co-op we are involved in and being the planner I am, I have already started on my list of supplies. Although I am not sure if I am planning this far ahead because I am a planner or in this case because I am a little nervous and want to know it is all planned out so I don't freak out completely the first day.

Hope you will follow along on my summer's journey and beyond.